How to Stop 90% Of Disagreements Before They Ruin Your Relationship
If you believing God for the return of your mate, rest assured God has heard your prayer. But when your prayer is answered and your mate has returned, how will you guard against future problems?
The bible says, (Amos 3:3) can two walk together, except they be agreed? Disagreements will occur but will you be able to resolve them? Do you have the skill set in place to resolve issues quickly and amicably?
How will you handle the next time your partner hurts you? Will you allow conflict and disagreements to cause another breakup? Or do you have a strategy in place that can help resolve issues that may arise?
There are many reasons for problems in relationships but you can do your part in eliminating 90% of them by paying attention to how you respond. As the saying goes, ‘it takes two to tango’ and many times your mate is responding to your actions, tone and behavior.
I’m not saying you are the reason for the problems in your relationship, I’m saying you can shorten the time and intensity of the conflict and work out your disagreements just by understanding and recognizing the part you play.
If you take a look at what you are doing in the conflict, you’ll have a greater chance of resolving potential problems before they become massive ones.
Here are a few strategies to remember in handling a conflict with your mate:
Take the initiative
You can sit around figuring out who’s to blame and who should change first, or you can start the ball rolling by taking action regardless of who started it.
Don’t take it personally
The person who is hurting you is doing the best they know how. Understand whenever someone hurts you that the person cannot do anything different toward you than what he or she understands to do. They aren’t personally trying to hurt you, but are responding from their own logic and frame of reference. If you try to not take it personally, it’ll free you to find the solutions needed to resolve the conflict.
Change yourself first
A change in you will lead in a change in him or her. When you change how you are approaching or responding to your partner, your partner will change how they are responding to you. Remember, it's not the event that creates the outcome, but your response to that event.
Have positive Expectations
There is a psychological law that states, human beings react and respond to the attitude and actions expressed by the other in like manner. The manner in which you approach or respond to your partner sets the ‘stage’ for how they’ll respond to you.
If you decide beforehand that a person will be difficult to deal with, you’ll approach him or her in a more or less hostile manner. When you do this, you literally set the stage for them to act upon the role you set for them. So put yourself in a positive frame of mind before communicating with your loved one.
Here are other points to consider.
1. Be willing to really listen to what your partner has to say.
2. Be willing to accept your partner for who he or she is.
3. Try to see the problem from their perspective.
4. Be willing to forgive and be forgiven
5. Be willing to look at what you are doing that is adding to the conflict and resolve it.
6. Be willing to get clarity on the situation and communicate without using emotionally charged words.
7. Change your focus from analyzing the problem to looking for the solution.
8. Most important learn to fight fair. Be willing to stop zinging, blaming and purposely trying to hurt your partner when in a heated discussion.
If you take the time, now, to formulate your own ‘conflict-resolution strategy’ you’ll increase your chances in resolving your differences before they become full-fledge problems. If you need further help check out our resources that are designed to give you insight and help as you believe for the return of your mate.
